my room is all dark except the glow of my screen. Such a weird night. I can't wait for the nxt few days.
oops kinda forgot about this thang. well today was a pretty great day except for the fact I looked kinda crappy because I had to wear a shirt with a big iPod on it...ooooh. I'm planning to make this the best year ever I want to remember it vividly when I'm 80 (hopefully) and senior year isn't just amazing on it's own (so I've heard.) I'm excited for upcoming events as well. 1. Kelso V MM game friday 2. Blacklight dance following the game. 3. 3 day weekend?! 4. going to do something EPIC with Sam this weekend. 5. BLINK 182!!!!!!!! (& taking back sunday) on the 9th 6. Kasey's home soccer game (before the concert tho) 7. I get to see Masen for what will be the first time in 4 weeks and a day...I miss that guy! I'm going to have a blast for sure :):)
Go on and close the curtains
cause all we need is candle light
You and me and a bottle of wine
going to hold you tonight
Well we know I'm going away
and how I wish, I wish it weren't so
So take this wine and drink with me
let's delay our misery
Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I'll be gone
Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I'll be gone
There's a log on the fire
and it burns like me for you
Tomorrow comes with one desire
to take me away it's true
It ain't easy to say goodbye
darling please don't start to cry
Cause girl you know I've got to go, oh
Lord I wish it wasn't so
Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I'll be gone
Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I'll be gone
Tomorrow comes to take me away
I wish that I, that I could stay
Girl you know I've got to go, oh
Lord I wish it wasn't so
Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I'll be gone
Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I'll be gone
Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I'll be gone
Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I'll be gone
tomorrow I'll be gone
tomorrow I'll be gone
tomorrow I'll be gone
tomorrow I'll be gone
Save tonight
Save tonight
Save tonight
Save tonight
when people are asked if they like all of their friends, some say no....WHY would you surround yourself with people you didn't like if it wasn't necessary? I really don't understand it.
And I don't get why people are so superficial.
I seriously believe if every person spent 1 week at Mt. Triumph then the world would be a better place. I want to go back so bad. I would give so much to be a JC, ever since our Spring Camp I've been thinking about it. I know (not to sound concited) that I would make a great one and I would make the best of it!! But for some reason I have this strong feeling that Mr. Ruhter doesn't like me and that seriously ruins my chances. I just want the same chance as everyone else. I REALLLYYY HOPEEE I GET TO BE ONEEE!!! =/
I have had this horrible inablity to sleep lately, don't know why, but it has really led me to think about different things.
On Wednesday night, I had one of the best nights ever. One of those nights that you think about and think about and only hope it will happen. Well it finally did. I couldn't sleep that night, who knows why. But while I was unable to sleep I had some pretty interesting thoughts...well at first I didn't but after I did. I was with a really special person that night and they could sleep but they woke up for a couple hours and it was nice because we had a talk that I had been wanting to have for a while. I'm glad to know that we are on the same wave length with a few things. If they read this, which hopefully they will...they'll know what I'm talking about (lets hope) Okay this probably isn't making any sence....which doesn't really matter because I'm sure I'm the only one that reads this (with the acception of one other person)
Back to what I was thinking...I realized that maybe I'm too good of a friend? But can that honestly be a bad thing? I don't konw. I just have this feeling that I will do way too much for a good friend. I don't know, I just like to make sure I have good relationships in my life and I know that if there's those few people that will always be there for you, then you're set. My friends mean the world to me even if I barley know them and sometimes I just wish I got that in return...
Then I was thinking about how there's always this one person that I automatically need someone to talk to and even though he probably doesn't want me to and doesn't want to reply he honestly helps me out a lot. I'm not going to lie I wish I got more than 2 or 3 words in a text about it but even those few words help and I just want him to know that I appreciate everything he does. Even if I can be kind of annoying sometimes.
They say time apart from someone helps a relationship, even though we aren't really in an official relationship (he knows what I mean) I honestly couldn't agree with that statement more. I wish I would've notice that before but, in the words of a very intellegent person "I truly believe everything happens for a reason" I couldn't agree more. Things feel good right now. School is starting, I'm involved in pride which makes me feel like I'm making a difference, that talk made me feel settled inside, I was picked for the Teen Mentor Program, and the mentor program at St. Johns (finally making money), got my turtle finally, school is starting...senior year I will make it the best, and I'm already excited to take a road trip somewhere....
The last two days, and part of tomorrow, I've been at the school training for pride. I remember when I was a freshman I always had this mindset that I was going to be that bitchy senior girl that all the freshman saw in the hall and didn't want to go near...maybe that just what RAL does to you? It's funny how your thoughts and opinions change just by a few things. Now, I want to be that really nice senior that helps out, that the freshman aren't afraid to come and talk to. I want to be someone they can look up to....but, I also don't want to be a complete loser either (not that, that makes you one) but, I'm still going to have fun with my friends and make my senior year the most memorable.
Speaking of memorable...I want to go back to Mt. Triumph as a delegate one more time! I loved it so much it was the most amazing week of my life. It was honestly so much better than Wildhorse which is adverstised as the "best week of your life"....NOT. (it wasn't horrible, don't get me wrong) I won't ever get the chance to go back there, whyyyy doesn't RAL get involved? How come they don't go there?? If RAL would've gone to Mt. Triumph I would've had the chance to go so many more times. I want to be a JC so dang bad. It just feels like I would be really good at it and It would be something that I would enjoy like no other. I've thought about how bad I've wanted to be one every day since camp....I just aoeirjaeonfoaeiwjfoiasfoasd want to :)))))) I'll cross my fingers!
My hands going to sleep but I still want to type. I really need someone to talk to right now...but he's not texting me back ='( no big deal maybe if he doesn't I'll actually fall asleep semi-early tonight....oooo that'd be swell. Probably not though. I need to go clean my turtle tank it stinks...while I keep periodically checking skype for that away status to change to online...
oops.
Well I started work. Kinda boring but hey, it's money, yo! I've been prettyyyyy good lately! I'm so excited for tomorrow too, it shall be grand :)
doing all of the missing. It's going to hurt like hell when he doesn't miss me anymore...ouch.
On a brighter note...I'm having a MUCH NEEDED girls night with Claire (in a British accent) on Friday, some friends over on Saturday and Sunday I may possibly be getting the turtle I've been wanting since before my birthday. Things will be good. And I got a cool name badge today.
I woke up this morning and realized that today is the day I've been regretting since...the long talk on my bed over six long months ago....about six months ahead of us. I was prepared for today, I knew he was going to leave and I knew/know I'm going to miss him so damn much. It's just like when the day you've been preparing yourself for hits you...it's a shock. And even though we're not dating anymore...I'm so worried that he's going to find someone better someone that he wants to be with and then when he comes to visit he won't want to hold my hand or kiss me anymore and that hurts.
and wishing on anything I can, that I didn't screw everything up and at least get a text message/call before Sunday...
on QotD: RIP MJ